I was a real bad stutterer. Home movies of me getting pissed off at not being able to talk are hilarious. I was the kind of stutterer that makes everyone around them uncomfortable. It's pretty much gone now, but occasionally it slips in there. Usually while awkwardly talking to the ladies, and not in an adorable, stammering Hugh Grant kind of way.
The "he's my only friend" part is kind of sad, but the part after it is hilarious. Remember I'm only eight and already a bitter little man.