I believe we've all heard this lie before. I know I wrote this, and I've read it a dozen times, but I can't figure out what I mean by "My floor is waked wood.." It's a hard wood floor, so it's possible I just mean naked wood. Who knows.
The Massachusetts lexicon has snuck into this entry. It wasn't until maybe a decade later that I realized the word "wicked" shouldn't be used unless you're talking about witches. Many thanks to everyone at college for laughing the miserable accent right out of me.