Sadly, this is all true. I spent the years between kindergarten and 1988 shoving laces into shoes and praying they wouldn't fall off. Or wearing velcro shoes whenever possible. I even remember asking friends to tie them for me at recess, just like a retarded child.

This ordeal has taught me to cherish the ability to tie one's own shoes. It wasn't until high school that I relaxed enough to stop using the double knot.